Isaac's Birth: Dad's Perspective

Isaac's First Week

Isaac's birth was a pretty amazing experience, even for me. Here's the story through my eyes. I'm not sure how much Andrea remembers about the whole experience, so I'll let her add her own story and/or comments later.

This is Andrea. I've added my thoughts and what pieces I could remember throughout the blog below. Michael's right in that I don't remember as much as he did. I'm glad he wrote the story first, so that it would be easier for me to just add to.

We ordered our new Vizio flat-screen TV a couple of weeks ago, and it was supposed to arrive on Tuesday, Feb 17th. I even hung the wall bracket in anticipation. Unfortunately, the delivery guys didn't have our phone number, so they "attempted" calling us a couple of times and "left a message", but we never even had a missed call. On Tuesday evening, we called them, gave them our number, and they assured us it would be worked out the next day. They also said they weren't sure how the delivery guys were calling us since there was no phone number on file! As to be expected, they didn't call in the morning, so Andrea called and set up a delivery appointment.

Friday!! Sometime between 1 and 5pm on Friday, to be precise (well, as precise as they would let us be). We've been waiting for this TV for a long time (like, years) because it just hasn't been high enough on our priority list. But you know how it is...once we've decided we are going to purchasing something, we want it right then. Needless to say, we were irritated. Plus, Andrea was almost full term, and we had been told two weeks before that Isaac was 10 lbs, so we wanted him to come already and we were very "waited out". For a couple of weeks, I kept expecting to get a call or a text from Andrea that Isaac was on his way and I'd have to drop everything and rush home. Nada, nothing.

On Friday, I was at least expecting to get a text in the middle of the afternoon that they had delivered the TV -- even if the storks hadn't quite delivered our son. But, as with these things, we were on the end of their list, and thus the end of the schedule. So, at the end of the day, I started heading out, closing off my open loops with people in the off chance (hope) that our son would arrive that weekend. It would also be convenient since I'd already have my laptop at home et al. Yes, I analyze everything in life for little advantages.

So I make it home at about 5:25 Friday evening and, even though I hadn't received a text or anything, I was hoping it had just arrived. Nope. Andrea told me as I walked in the door that they hadn't even called by 5, and so she called them. "It's just now 5," they said. Duh, then it should be here already. They were running late and it would be at least 6. Ugh. We were planning to go out that night, and trust me, you don't come between a pregnant woman and her food. We're about to call again at 6:20 when we heard the truck coming up the street. Yay! We waited around for them to unload the goods and go on their merry way, and we immediately took it out of the box (the box lifts off the top) and I quickly put the mounting bracket on the back of the TV. Of course, with only my pregnant wife to help lift it onto the wall, it's still sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. It's just a bit too heavy for me to lift on my own, and now I'm thankful that I didn't even try. I probably would have thrown out my back or given myself a hernia and would have been useless during labor.

This whole fiasco just irritated the crap out of me! I don't know what these people could not understand about customer service! How hard is it to make a phone call when you know that you're going to be at least an hour past the scheduled delivery window?!?

We went out for a bite at Baby A's and finally got home around 9ish to watch a movie on our brand-new TV. I got it all set up (didn't really take much, just power and an HDMI cable) and we started watching Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (my pick). At about 10:30, about an hour into the movie, Andrea coughed pretty hard and said to me, "I think I just peed my pants." I was skeptical. In fact, I was absolutely exhilarated because I was hoping her water just broke. She came back out of the bathroom and confirmed my suspicions. We were both pretty happy, to say the least. Andrea was also shaking, probably from hormones and a bit of excitement. She called Michelle, the midwife, didn't get through, and called Scottie, her apprentice. Scottie said she would call the backup midwife, Vicky, and see whether they should go out tonight. In the excitement, we forgot that Michelle was in Dallas for the night.

Once I realized my water had broken, I was so excited! I remember shaking uncontrollably...probably in part due to hormones, but I really think at that point it was mostly just excitement - Isaac was finally going to get here! YAY!

Scottie came over to our house that night to do a quick checkup. She had no trouble finding the place because just a week earlier she had come out for a home visit. Isaac's heart tones were great, so she told Andrea to drink a glass of wine and try to get some sleep. We were supposed to call when contractions were 5 minutes apart. I think we finally got to sleep sometime around 12:30am.

I remember feeling too pumped up to even want to sleep! I just wanted to get everything going! I did try to get some rest, though, because I knew that I would need my energy very soon!

At 3:30 that morning, Andrea woke up with contractions that were 2 minutes apart! 1 minute contraction, 1 minute rest. We weren't sure whether to call Scottie yet, so we waited about half an hour. It wasn't letting up, so we called Scottie and she called us back after calling Vicky to let us know they'd be there shortly. We were well on our way! Andrea was going to have Isaac on her own birthday!

Vicky and Scottie arrived about 30-40 minutes later, and started checking heart tones and getting things set up for the home birth. Labor was difficult for Andrea because it seemed like she never really got much of a rest. Also, Isaac decided to turn into an unfavorable posterior or front-facing position, so Vicky and Scottie were making Andrea do some weird stretches during the contractions. She was not happy about that. Either that or side-lying during contractions. Andrea just wanted to labor on her yoga ball. It was definitely the most comfortable position.

I love Scottie, but I swear I would have screamed if she had me do one more weird position during labor! Do you know how hard it is to be on all fours doing an arched back "cat stretch" while you're having contractions?!? Being on my side wasn't any better either. I felt like I lost my rhythm in those positions. I don't know why, but when I could just sit on the yoga ball I felt very centered and in control - and if you know me at all you understand how important it is for me to remain in control! :-)

Isaac finally moved to the more favorable anterior or back-facing position at about 10 or 11 that morning, so things were looking up. But that's when the difficulty really set in. Andrea dilated to about 7cm and started transition. Unfortunately, because Isaac was so big and things were progressing so rapidly, he was pushing a little too hard on her cervix, and both his head and her cervix were starting to swell. Michelle was on her way from Dallas, speeding and even got a ticket, but we weren't sure she'd make it in time.

Andrea spent about 4 hours in the transition phase, and her contractions were lasting about 5 minutes, with maybe a minute of rest between, and sometimes less. She was in lots of pain and we tried having her push with her contractions to see if he could break through the cervix. But nothing was working. Finally, we decided to transfer her to the hospital before she or Isaac started to have trouble and be too risky for a vaginal birth.

This was by far the most difficult part of labor for me. Honestly, though, it wasn't because of the pain. Several things made transition difficult for me. First, was the fact that my contractions lasted so long that I never got a break. After 4 hours of being stuck at 7cm with contractions right on top of each other, I was exhausted! My three hours of sleep and three bites of scrambled eggs for breakfast just was not nearly enough to keep my energy up! The other thing that was so difficult for me was the fact that I could not progress any further, and they told me that Isaac's head and my cervix were both starting to swell which would just make it even more difficult for him to get out. In the beginning I was happy that my labor was going fast, and that I was progressing so quickly. At this point, though, I realized that with a big baby that's not always a good thing. His head just hadn't had enough time to mold to fit the shape of my pelvis. By the time Vicky started talking about going to the hospital, I agreed simply because I was afraid for my baby, and I had no idea when Michelle might arrive or if she would even be able to do anything different to help us get past 7cm and be able to deliver at home.

While getting clothes and things together for the hospital stay, Vicky said not to rush, but Andrea was in so much pain that I couldn't help it. I wish we had planned for this so that we had it all ready. I continually needed to ask Andrea about things, and she was really only coherent for a few seconds every few minutes or so. Then I felt as if I were abandoning her every time I would go into the closet to get clothes. It was definitely a stressful situation.

I also remember Vicky saying that it wasn't an emergency, so there was no need to rush. I don't honestly remember how long it even took for them to get everything ready to go. I just remember that I felt like everyone abandoned me. I was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, struggling through 5 minute long contractions, while Michael was trying to pack for us, Scottie was packing the baby's things, and Vicky was packing up her kit. I remember feeling very alone, and generally pissed off that someone couldn't stop what they were doing and help me - especially when I needed to go to the bathroom! At one point no one was in the room with me, so I crawled into the bathroom by myself.

We got everything together and Scottie drove our car behind Vicky on the way to St. David's Central. I was in the back trying to help Andrea, but she was in a ton of pain on the way to the hospital. I thought speedbumps were bad for her during pregnancy....this was 100 times worse for her.

I don't doubt Michael when he says that I was in a lot of pain during the drive. I know that it was hard for him to watch me suffer. The truth, though, is that my mind had taken me somewhere else - my body's own way to block the pain. I don't even remember the drive to the hospital. I only remember getting into the car and falling in love with my husband all over again when I looked over and saw my favorite pillow and blanket waiting in the backseat. I remember thinking how thoughtful he was, then the car started to move and the next thing I know they're opening the car door and helping me into the wheelchair.

We got to the hospital, straight into the room, and the nurse starting asking a bunch of questions of us. Thankfully Vicky was there to answer most of them for us. Michelle arrived just a few minutes behind us and immediately got the epidural ordered. When we were planning a hospital birth before deciding to have a home birth, we had this rule that Andrea had to ask for the epidural 3 times before we would get it for her. However, Michelle always recommends getting the epidural if she's had to transport someone to the hospital after attempting the birth at home. This was an extraordinary situation, so we listened and got it right away. That, and it took everything I had to hold back the tears watching my wife crying and in so much pain. Dr. Soron was great; he was willing to let us try the epidural and see if that would slow things down enough and relax the cervix so Andrea could deliver Isaac vaginally, thereby not needing a C-section.

I was so thankful that the midwives had my file there with them so that they could answer most of the admission questions. I was also thankful that Michelle made it to the hospital just moments behind us. I remember that it was a while before they started the epidural, and during the wait I felt very anxious and out of control. Michelle would calmly place her palm on my chest, help me slow my breathing, and tell me how strong I was. I remember looking her directly in the eye and thinking, "She really means this! I am strong! I can do this!" And, miraculously, the contractions seemed more tolerable.

I agree that Dr. Sorin, was terrific! So many doctors would have insisted on a C-section as soon as we had to transfer to the hospital, but he really listened to us. He was willing to give my body the time it needed to adjust. I am so thankful that he was the doctor on duty that night!

The anesthesiologist was awesome. Andrea barely felt anything, and he was talking and joking to try to lighten the mood, which was good for all of us. Andrea was worried about this part of a hospital birth the most...that and other things like an episiotomy (which wasn't required, thankfully).

I admit that I feared an epidural - something about someone sticking a needle in my back when I was already in pain just made me incredibly anxious. I can say, now, though, that my fear was unfounded. The anesthesiologist was so fabulous; I barely felt that needle. And when I think about how minor that was compared to the strength of the contractions...well, let's just say I'm glad that the midwife encouraged the epidural! The contractions slowed, and though I could still feel them, the pain was much more tolerable than it had been before the epidural.

Andrea became much more calm and relaxed and became dilated to an 8 almost immediately. I remember at one point during the process, Scottie went to get us some food, and I felt pretty bad for eating even a sandwich in front of Andrea, but I was starving. At least she was getting an IV.

I know Michael felt bad for eating in front of me, but I was so glad he was able to eat something. I don't think he had eaten since breakfast because I hadn't wanted him to leave my side all day. I do remember watching him eat some potato chips and thinking that I couldn't wait to have this baby so that I could have some too. The funny thing is that now it's two and a half weeks later and I still haven't had potato chips! They just don't sound as good now as they did when all I could have was ice chips!

When she was at a 9 and almost 10, things were looking up. She was also much more relaxed. Soon, after a little pitocin, she was able to start pushing with the contractions. Andrea was amazing, pushing with all of her might to get Isaac to engage and get his head past the smallest part of her pelvis. This took a ton of concentration, some innovative positions proposed by the midwife and nurse, and a lot of effort by my wife. At one point I was standing at the foot of the bed with Andrea in a squatting position hanging onto me for dear life and I'm just trying not to fall over. It was great to be part of the process, even if for only a small part.

Before I talk about pushing, I just want to mention Rose, our terrific nurse. She was not intimidated by the presence of our midwives, and in fact, welcomed their thoughts and ideas. She allowed them to be a very big part of my birth experience, and for that I am grateful! She was also so supportive of a vaginal birth. I know another nurse could have totally changed the energy in the room, and then I wouldn't have had such a great experience. I sang her praises long and loud the whole time we were in the hospital.

I was so glad when I was able to start pushing, and also that the epidural wasn't as strong as I feared it would be. I had this mental image of being numb from the chest down to my toes, so I never used the button for extra pain medicine. By the time I was ready to push, I could feel my feet well enough to stand and then squat at the end of the bed. I remember hanging on to Michael and feeling so much stronger because his arms were around me. I remember thinking how special it was that it took both of us to help our son to be born! I think Michael has really downplayed his role in the whole birth experience. He was my rock, and I could not have done this without him! Even when we was worried about me, I never saw it...I only saw the love and patience in his eyes and his voice.

When I could see his head begin to crown, I finally begin to believe that this was really happening. Andrea said later that she could hear the excitement in my voice, he was right there and just a few more pushes would deliver him to the world. The nurse called the doctor in right after Isaac crowned, and Andrea pushed really really hard, like eight solid pushes, to get Isaac's head out. After that, the doctor did this cool corkscrew maneuver to help Isaac's shoulders get out.

I thought for a while that I would never get him out. I asked Michelle multiple times, "Is he moving at all?!?" She kept assuring me that he was, but I couldn't really tell that I was making progress. Then I heard Michael say, "I can see him!" I loved the excitement in his voice - it gave me the strength and encouragement I needed to work even harder.

After he was out, I cut Isaac's cord, and then one of the techs drew the cord blood. We decided to store his cord blood with the Cord Blood Registry. There was a ton of blood out of the cord. And since I'd never seen the cord before, I was amazed at how it looked. It was a lot thicker and bluer than I had imagined.

The Cord Blood Registry called me the next week and told me that we had a great cord blood sample - almost twice the average number of cells!

Once he was out and cleaned up, we noticed the kapet from where he was pushing against Andrea's cervix for so long, but that has gone down now so we're happy there was no lasting damage there. We also noticed that his hair was fairly red. We weren't sure yet because he was pretty red himself, but it looks like he'll be a red-head, at least for a little while.

As soon as Isaac came out, they placed him on my chest. He was all wet and warm, and he immediately started crying. I thought my heart was going to burst right out of my chest - that's how overwhelmed I was with the love I already felt for this precious little boy.

After that, they weighed him, 9lbs 12.5oz, and measured him, 21 3/4 in. Michelle fed him first, while I attended to my wife as well as some administrivia. I called the Cord Blood Registry folks and they sent a courier within an hour, which was very impressive. We sent a number of updates to Facebook with a quick picture of Andrea and Isaac so the whole family could see, then we each made a quick call to each of our parents.

The nurse took Isaac for his checkup (one of the reasons we didn't want to go to the hospital) and Andrea went with another nurse to the room. Scottie went with Isaac and I got our stuff and carried it with Michelle to our room after Andrea. It was kinda funny, because there was a family in the waiting area right next to the nursery, and they asked if the baby they just took was ours. I said yes, not thinking that they meant Michelle's and mine. That would have been pretty impressive for the mother to be up and around after that ordeal! I tried to clarify it for them, but I think they were confused because a couple of minutes later I was standing next to Scottie outside the nursery while Michelle was talking to Andrea.

I hated this part of being in the hospital. I didn't want them to take him away from me! It did make me feel better that Michael was going with him, though. I remember talking with Michelle for a bit while we waited, and eventually I sent her to the nursery to see what was taking so long.

When they were done checking him out, I got to push him in the cart to our room, and it was like a walk of fame. I don't know how else to describe it. Complete strangers were congratulating me, and I tried to tell them that I'm not the one they should be congratulating!

I wish I could have seen the look on Michael's face during his "Walk of Fame". He was pretty proud of his son!

Anyway, that's pretty much the story. We spent a couple of nights in the hospital, and things went ok, but we were very happy to get home on Monday.

Overall, it was a great experience. Part of me is still a little disappointed that we weren't able to stay home for the birth as we'd planned, but when you have such a beautiful, healthy little boy, it just doesn't matter. I'm happy that Isaac is here. The waiting game is over - now on to the next phase of life!